Insomniatic Reflections

It’s 5 am and for the past week or so I’ve been waking up around this time, annoyed.  This morning, instead of fighting the fact that I’m going to beat the sun in getting up AGAIN, I decided to surrender to these pages and down tempo dub instrumental music.

Clearly, my mind’s been loud. Life’s been happening on Life’s terms and those terms have been simultaneously exhilarating and heavy. Completely bipolar in varying circumstances. And while my ADD is at ease in the many moving parts, I’m also tired.

This particular episode has me marinating on a situation that occurred recently. You know that playback and rewind, remixing how things could’ve ended differently. Tossing the ball to him and she and me and back again, in possibility; only to come to remember one simple truth: people do what they want and they don’t do what they don’t want.

You either find a way or an excuse.

The logistics and intention behind the who, what, when, where and why are absolutely irrelevant.  And as hard as it is at times to not take the choices of another personal, I learned a long time ago that it is in no way a reflection of me. It is a marker for where that person is at that moment with their evolution if any. And if no one can make me change but me, the same is also true with others.  I must let go.

Self-respect is not synonymous for snob or high maintenance.

I know that for me, I will literally and metaphorically bend the universe for the people and things I’m passionate about. I’m a rebel heart and if you stand in my way, you make my way inevitable.

Having this self-awareness then makes it my responsibility to myself to decide whether or not this person’s choices regarding me (i.e. themselves) are in alignment with my values and the standard at which I hold myself.

Values are like reality and spiritual paths; they are relative to each person, each frequency.

I hope these insights help someone.  Now I’m going to try and get a few more hours of sleep in! There’s a lot of new things on my plate this week that I can’t wait to reveal.

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!