The Beauty, Fashion and Entertainment Industries all seem to have a way of warping the mind in different directions defining in varying ways what the word perfect means. As the old adage goes: “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” And so is the grey area’d aspect of this phrase I like to call perfectionism.
Personally, I’ve struggled with perfectionism my entire life. Growing up in a strict military family, even the order in which I ironed my father’s Air Force shirts had to be in a specific order as not to recrease the section before. In an effort to always “fall in line”, I became conditioned to over achieve, unaware that I was acting from the false belief that once whatever task at hand was completed perfectly, then I would be happy and accepted. What a hard truth as this went hand in hand with me allowing my successes and talents to define who I was, falsely labeling them ‘self esteem’.
I’ve come a long way since then. I now know this level of attempted perfectionism is actually a form of self sabotage, a trick the ego plays to stay alive. I’ve learned that perfect does not exist and I am not what I do. Self esteem can only be built by doing esteemable acts. And I grow and learn along my heart’s path best by aligning myself with individuals that not only see and mirror my thoughts of truth but with those that won’t cosign my ego’s BS as well.
I recently mentioned my perfectionism defect in a group setting where is was misconstrued by another’s ego to mean that I thought I was perfect and then spread like wildfire down a useless vein of gossip. Of course I didn’t respond and instead thought to myself ‘if this person only knew’. But she never will, and I’m grateful for the experience for it inspired this post.
The Universe speaks in amazing ways, if we are awake to it.
I’d love to hear about how’ve you’ve overcome perfectionism or any other self sabotaging quality in the comments below!